Hide'n'Scream
by Prisoner Len
Summary: Hide and seek in a dark apartment is a terrible idea—especially if you're Cloud Strife and you're completely terrified of Zack's hall closet. And the dark. And axe murderers. CxS; oneshot


**Cloud is a complete wuss here. Sorryyyyy.**

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><p>Horror movies were sometimes gruesome things to see; hacking and slashing, blood flying everywhere, and decapitation were such commonplace, it was rather disturbing—especially to innocent teenagers that have never seen a human being die. Cloud gaped at the flashing television screen, grimacing as a scythe swung full circle and ripped a woman's arm clean off. He shifted uncomfortably on Zack's couch, glancing first at the laughing raven-haired teen to his left, then at the silver-haired General to his right. Both men seemed completely unaffected by the blood and gore, and poor Cloud was left sitting miserably between a hysterically laughing puppy, and a deathly silent Sephiroth. Saturdays were unofficially dubbed "movie night", and this week had been Zack's pick. His choice was obvious as another violent scream tore through his living room, and Cloud stared, wide-eyed, as a man got his head ripped off—complete with veins stretching and blood spurting all over the place.<p>

He wanted this movie to end. Badly. For the first twenty minutes of the gore-fest, Cloud had debated faking a headache, and going home early. If it were any other Saturday, he would have actually done it. But this particular Saturday, Zack had persuaded _the_ Sephiroth to join them, and _the_ Sephiroth was sitting right next to miserable, lowly-cadet Cloud, apparently thoroughly amused at the idea of a woman having her unborn child ripped out of her mouth. Approximately twenty-five minutes in, he decided to suck it up, be a man—after all, he would be a SOLDIER someday, _right_?—and watch the whole movie. Approximately thirty minutes later, he was regretting that decision, and really wished the movie would end.

The worst part was he couldn't tear his bright blue eyes from the TV. He stared, eyes as wide as can be, mouth hanging open, and absorbed every little gruesome detail, vicious tear, shriek of pain, occasionally reaching for the popcorn in Zack's lap and flinching when a particular repulsive part came about. It was like the gore was _hypnotizing_ him. When they showed a pretty blonde woman walking down a dark, unlit hallway in the abandoned house, and the axe murderer jumped out of fucking nowhere, slamming his axe through her skull and popping out an eye, he almost screamed like a little girl. _Almost_. He didn't, because that'd be very unmanly, and he was _brave_. He also almost threw up and had to excuse himself from the living room to use the bathroom, tripping over Sephiroth's long legs as he stumbled by.

Then he remembered the bathroom was at the end of the hallway.

Zack's unlit hallway.

The one that had the dead light bulb that Zack always said he'd replace someday but likely never would. And the closet door that never quite closed all of the way.

Suddenly, Cloud wanted to piss his pants rather than throw up the pizza he and Zack had eaten for dinner.

A loud laugh sounded from the living room, alongside the revving of a chainsaw and, taking a deep breath, Cloud started that terrifying journey down the hallway. He was almost-completely-positive that the axe murderer was hiding in Zack's closet, but he was also almost-completely-positive that it _might_ just be his imagination and the dark hallway playing tricks on him. Of course, the downpour outside had chosen that precise moment to turn into a raging thunderstorm and Cloud sprinted the rest of the way to the safety of the bathroom as a flash of lightning lit up the small apartment. He slammed the door shut and immediately swung out his hand and turned the light on, leaning against the door and taking deep, erratic breaths. He reached a shaking hand forward and pushed back the shower curtain, warily searching for any intruders. Convinced that he was indeed alone in Zack's small bathroom, he heaved a sigh of relief, and walked over to the toilet, unzipping his pants. Halfway to sitting down, a crash of thunder shook the apartment, and the lights flickered and went out.

Leaving Cloud in complete can't-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face darkness. The kind that made grown men _cry_.

Cloud was pretty damn sure his heart stopped at that very moment.

He had the perfect deer-caught-in-the-headlights impression on his face as he hastily did his duty, eyes moving from the now-shadowy shower, to the door that he was positive would burst open at any given second, letting in the insane axe murderer from the hallway, then back to the shower again. Finished, he wiped, stood up, yanked his sweatpants up, and fumbled around in the dark for the lever to flush the toilet. As soon as he found it, he pushed it down and darted for the door, pulling it open slowly and peeking into the hallway. He heard Zack talking loudly down the hall, and saw the light from a flashlight—but he also saw that hallway closet, and he was _positive_ it wasn't open that much when he went to the bathroom. He had two choices then; he could either stay huddled in the bathroom until Zack came and saved his life, or he could just suck it up and walk down the hallway.

He chose the brought-on-by-a-roll-of-thunder option: completely haul ass down the hallway and slow to a walk the second he entered the living room.

"Hey, Spiky!" Zack called from the floor in front of the couch, where he was lighting a second candle on the coffee table. "We were beginning to think maybe you fell in or something."

_Or the fucking axe murderer got me_., Cloud thought bitterly, stepping over Sephiroth's—who arched an eyebrow in amusement—legs and sitting down next to Zack. Lightning flashed through the room, and Cloud nearly jumped a foot in the air—he was _positive_ he had just seen a man walking into Zack's kitchen. "U-Um, Z-Zack…?" he squeaked, eying the kitchen doorway with wide eyes.

"Hm?"

"I-I think someone's in your k-kitchen." Cloud stuttered, pointing a shaking hand towards the pitch black room.

Zack and Sephiroth both turned and raised their eyebrows at the shaking pile of blonde spikes and fear known as Cloud. He, in turn, stared back at his best friend, and tried his hardest to ignore the piercing cat-like gaze on the back of his head that was making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Then Zack burst out laughing, slamming a hand on Cloud's shoulder and shaking his head. "Good one, Spike!"

"But Zack—"

"I know! A spooky ghost with a chainsaw, right?" Zack laughed loudly, clapping him on the back.

Cloud groaned miserably, covering his face in his hands. They sat there quietly, in Zack's far-too-dark-for-Cloud's-comfort living room, just watching the candles and waiting for the power to come back on. Five minutes passed. Then ten minutes. And there was still no electricity. If Cloud had to sleep in Zack's living room, in the dark, with Sephiroth less than five feet away, he was going to kill—

"We should play hide and seek." Zack said. Cloud let out a loud whine; he did _not_ need another excuse to look like a scared little kid in front of his idol. Even if he _was_ one.

"Alright."

Two pairs of eyes turned to look at Sephiroth, and Zack let out a rather unmanly squeal. "Are you serious?"

Sephiroth regarded the SOLDIER with a look of displeasure at the high-pitched intrusion to his eardrums and nodded his head slowly. Then, a wry smile worked its way onto his lips and he murmured, "But I'm not it."

"Not it!" Zack yelped, jumping to his feet. He ruffled Cloud's blonde spikes and stepped over his guest's long legs to stand near the doorway. "Get counting, Spiky! Ten seconds! Starting… now!"

And with that, Zack sprinted down the hallway, Cloud loudly spluttering protests. Sephiroth lazily climbed to his feet and stared down at Cloud until the cadet buried his face in his hands and started counting. He sat there in Zack's living room, knees pulled up to his chest, with only two small candles to offer him light, and counted to ten. He called Zack every word his mind could come up with, and wished the axe murderer would get the raven-haired SOLDIER. And then he got panicky, took back that wish and begged for whatever higher being granted wishes to ignore it. As soon as he hit ten, he climbed unsteadily to his feet and took the smallest possible step towards the unwelcoming darkness of the rest of the apartment, jumping as a rumble of thunder echoed through the living room.

"R-Ready or not, here I come…" he called meekly, taking another small step forward.

He stared at the dark entrance to the pit of hell—er, the _kitchen_, then turned towards the hallway, summoning up all of his courage before stepping into it. He eyed the hall closet with great distrust. The nearest room was Zack's, and two quick steps got him there. Easing the door open, he gave the hall closet one last look, then stepped inside, making a beeline for Zack's closet. He pulled the door open slowly, ready to run like hell should a tall, hooded figure pop out at him and make an attempt on his life. Instead of the killing machine he expected, he was met with Zack's uniforms, a training sword, and a pair of mismatched shoes. Sighing, he closed the door and turned to leave the room—

Only to scream bloody murder when a hand reached out from under the bed and _GRABBED HIS FUCKING FOOT_.

Cloud wasn't sure what a heart attack felt like, but he was pretty sure he was having one as he laid on the beige carpet of Zack's bedroom floor, watching a dark figure slide out from under the bed and tower over him, something glinting in his hand—oh _God_, it was the axe murderer. He was going to die. He was sixteen years old, lying on his best friend's bedroom floor, and he was going to _die_. Even with the best fighter in the world in the same apartment, lowly cadet Cloud Strife was going to die by the hands of an insane axe murderer, and then Zack would die and—

A hand reached down and gripped his forearm, and he let out a bloodcurdling scream, thrashing and making every attempt at getting away. He burst into tears, and an accidentally well-aimed kick slammed into the person's groin. With a harsh yelp of pain, he was released and the figure toppled to the floor. Cloud flopped next to the bed in a mess of tears and fears. Footsteps thudded down the hallway, and Cloud was only vaguely aware when he was hauled to his feet and set on the bed.

"Cloud! Hey, Spiky!" Zack shouted, shaking the cadet roughly.

With a loud sniffle, Cloud stopped crying and stared straight into Zack's worried face. He sniffled again, passing his forearm over his eyes to wipe away any stray tears. "Z-Zack?"

Now Zack was frowning at—the axe murderer was still in the room! Cloud swiveled his head around so quickly, he was sure his neck would break. Sephiroth was a crumpled heap on the floor, gripping his crotch and—Oh. Fucking. _Gods_. Cloud had _kicked_ the Great General Sephiroth in the _balls_. Cat-like eyes peered back at him, full of pain and worry. And he looked hot. He looked very—no. No, he looked in pain, and it was because of Cloud and now he'd probably never live to see tomorrow and—

"What the _hell_ did you do to him, Seph?" Zack questioned, looking from the still-shaking Cloud to the General.

Sephiroth blinked those cat-like eyes once, twice, then a third time slowly, still cupping his crotch in pain. "He was walking away, so I grabbed his foot." he hissed, nodding towards Cloud's bare foot.

The bare foot that was attached to a cadet who was still very much hyperventilating in fear—both from being grabbed, and from becoming fully aware that he'd just assaulted his commanding officer. They both stared at the General in complete disbelief, and he stared right back with a confused, pained frown. Finally, Zack wrenched himself out of Cloud's grip—eliciting a pitiful whine from the teen—and stood with one hand on his hip, the other pointing accusingly at Sephiroth.

"That is _not_ how you play hide and seek."

"It isn't?" Sephiroth wheezed, both eyebrows arched high in surprise.

"No, it's not." Zack whined loudly, throwing his arms down to either side. "You wait for him to find you. Or you wait for him to give up. Whichever comes first."

"Oh." the General said quietly, looking at Cloud. Releasing his protective grip over his more sensitive body parts, he shuffled closer to Cloud and crouched before him. Then he pulled the cadet into a tight hug, one hand on the back on his head—much to both his and Zack's surprise. "I apologize for scaring the shit out of you."

"I-I-I—"

"Zackary, because this is all _your_ fault—"

"_What_? How the _fuck_ is it my fault?"

"You did not explain this game to me." Sephiroth growled lowly, glaring up at him from the floor. "Now, because this is your fault, _you_ are it."

Zack worked his mouth wordlessly, then stomped his foot and groaned. "That's not even fair. I hate you."

"Good. Hate me all the way to the living room and count to ten."

With a well-placed slap to the side of the General's head—and the following squeak of fear when the man turned his head slowly—Zack rushed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He stomped loudly into the living room, sat on the floor, and started screaming out every number. If he hadn't been too busy making all of the noise he possibly could at quarter to midnight, he would have heard his bedroom door lock.

He also probably would have heard Cloud's heartbeat echoing through the house when Sephiroth slowly made his way back across the room to loom over the lowly cadet, a deep frown on his face.

"You kicked me." Sephiroth mused, cocking an eyebrow.

Cloud swallowed hard, then stuttered, "Y-You scared me."

And then the General grinned. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to the teen, yanked him forward, and planted a kiss right on his lips.

If Zack had been paying any attention, he would have heard the incredibly loud squawk of surprise coming from his room. But he wasn't. He was too busy wondering if the closet door had always been that far open.

"W-Wha—"

Apparently feeling rather successful, Sephiroth unlocked the door and headed for the closet. He paused in front of the cadet and lowered himself into a crouch. "Movie night will be at my place next week. I do hope you'll show."

And before Cloud could utter a word, the man was inside the closet, and the bedroom door swung open to reveal Zack—who rolled his eyes, sighed, and slammed his face down into the palm of his hand.

"Spike, you're supposed to _hide_."

And Cloud just stared. Because really, what the fuck did the world expect of him after being kissed by his General?

Zack took a step forward, and he launched himself off of the bed, fleeing from the room and down the hall into the bathroom. Sure, it was a terrible hiding spot because Zack had actually watched him run down the hall. Sure, he'd be it again anyhow.

But at that very moment, Cloud really did not give a shit—nor did he care when it felt like something grabbed him from behind the shower curtain. He had a date with Sephiroth—wait, it was a date, right? He replayed the past five minutes of his otherwise-terrifying life, then nodded to himself. He definitely had a date. He squealed like a little girl, and flung himself at Zack as soon as the bathroom door opened, squeezing his best friend tightly.

"Wow, I didn't know hide and seek could make someone so happy." Zack laughed, ruffling blonde spikes.

Cloud peeked around Zack's shoulder to see Sephiroth standing in front of the bedroom door, a smile on his face.

"You have no idea, Zack."

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><p><strong>This story is seriously three months old. I found it while poking around my laptop, and it was only missing an ending. So I added one. xD<strong>

**And I feel like my writing style has changed quite a bit, so I can't help but feel this whole story is worded poorly. Just because I don't write much like that. I don't think.**

**But hey, now I can ignore the word doc and pretend it doesn't exist because it's finished.**


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